Yesterday just around 6.18pm 01.06.98.That moment in time changed my life totally.It was not planned it just happened.Last night sitting here thinking about what had happened to me then and after it aswell.For where iam now in my life now since it was changed back then.I will still say that car accident was bad but what the it did to me after the accident killed me more.Infact thinking about it if i didnt come back home the it would have killed me permanently.
Yes to restart my life from day one being back home.My mum and dad where the only ones who could help do that.They did being the best parents you can ever ask for.They knew i was not right but stood by me and helped me to be myself again.Even now looking back the last 15 years been up and down like a yoyo in my life.With all what was going on getting my life back up and running.The car accident case and my daughter court case.It was my parents who where my back bone that got me through those really hard times.
The main problem with me was that i couldnt understand why i couldnt do what i knew i could do in the past before accident.I would not accept that at all.The it then really did kill me more than accident.As the it knew the only way she could hurt me was through our daughter.As she knew i would do anything for my daughter.
My mum and dad listened to it all what was going on and they give me the best advice they could to help me.
As time went on the certain its around here just jumped on the band wagon when they knew i couldnt defend myself.The it bullies they are loved it.So more its joined the club.
To get my strength back and to ignore the its taken some time in doing.With me still knocking myself down as still would not accept that i had changed in my life.
With help of mum and dad and Jerry as time went by i started to get my life back up and running and feeling positive vibes coming back into me.
They was a certain few its who i let into my feelings.Me not thinking i was not ready for serious relationship yet.The its just bullied me more and thought i was so easy to be used.But what they didnt relise they wreck my feelings but made me even stronger and the barriers of steel around my heart now.So no it can get in to my heart and do it to me again.
The it and its out there are still there and still like an it the other day tried it on me but with me being stronger now with myself i did not bat an eye lid when the it started.Infact the it was sort of gob smacked as she couldnt bully me.You see likes of that gives me more positive vibes flow out of me.
The it what killed me more than car accident 15 years ago.Is at her it stupid games again with our daughter.With Diane being 19 this month she knows what the it is like and Diane being a young adult will make her own mind up about the it.All i can do is sit back and Diane knows her dad is there for her.
Last night my treat to myself a hot radox salts bath and real good thinking to myself.That i will try and make my own life go better each day and what i want i will make it happen and just not dream.
Yes been 15 years since my life changed and i still keep going.Taken day by day and will do the best i can to enjoy my life more in the future.
My past is the past as my past is not the future!
Adrian
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