Ronan Keating - If Tomorrow Never Comes

This one of my main chilling out tunes. Jean Michel Jarre - Rendez vous 2 - La defense - 14/07/1990

                   

Jean Michel Jarre - Oxygene 2

One of my chilling out tunes......

Expendable

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Weekend is here

This last week been a wee bit different as my plans are coming together.That means in or around 14 days time i will be on the move to make a planned mission get completed for real.As for next 14 days i will just make xtra sure that mission will go ahead with nothing trying to stop me.
With my exercise bike being broken until new fabric belt arrives.Give me a wee reason to do a bit more on each exercise i do.Took my sit ups to 150 now.On tuesday i did something i never done before and i swim 78 lengths of 33m pool.First time in my life to swim that many.Hell it felt really good aswell.Also back on swim on thursday i did another 80 lengths of pool.Also on thursday new fabric belt arrived for bike.So fitted it on and hell it was hard work on bike.As with new belt it made my leg muscles work even better.Feels really good.
Now its saturday dinner time here and i just cooked and going to eat as need food in me.
All have a great weekend.
                Adrian

No Pain No Gain

The last 12 days minus my exercise bike after friction belt broke.So not sweat as much when i do my hour exercise.What did not help matters last week two separate nights i didnt sleep well either.So me being me as i knew i was not right with myself i had to just sit back from doing exercises etc over the last few days of last week.Now thats not like me but hell i knew i had to get better with myself and sleep better.
Monday morning doing my warm up and then my speed walk but with no bike i done 150 sit ups and more leg pulls aswell to make myself sweat.Yes i do my minimum on different exercising but with no bike i upped each one a bit.Felt really good but miss my bike as it what breaks the sweat out of me at the end of hour exercise.
Today up this morning did my hour exercises and then went to Carlisle to get food and a swim aswell what i do each tuesday and thursday.
This morning first time ever in my life  i did swim 78 lengths of the 33metre pool .Been swimming 66lengths the last 16 time visit to the pool .But when friends of mine came in pool they said you going to do 70 lengths as i was only 30 lengths at that time.But with Jean and Alison saying that to me.I had to do for myself and them aswell.So i carried on and went passed 66 lengths and got past 70 lengths but me being me i carried on until my arms couldnt do any more.Yes first time in my life i did swim 78 lengths of the pool.
Been back home and with sweat still in me i did my hour exercise to get sweat out of me without bike.Hope tomorrow morning new friction belt will be here for bike then i can sweat as much as i can.
Sitting here writing this with my cup of tea and my choc chip cookies aswell  feeling proud of myself today.
                     Adrian

weekend comes to a end

This weekend been better than expected for myself.Even my team Liverpool beat Everton yesterday in the FA cup semi final.So my weekend was going better than expected.Yes i did write on here yesterday aswell about a bit of my past.As today its my lazy sunday chill out day.Done it in style and feel so good.With getting near the end of my chill out day  my weekend finished of perfect.
So now ready to end my lazy chill out day with a smile in my heart.
                     Adrian

Something about me

Been doing a lot thinking this week to myself.Not been in the mood to write until today.If you been reading my blog over the years you will sort of know what iam writing about now.

Back in 1998 relationship i was in was shit i was leaving the it with my daughter and step son when on the way home driving my car a bus hit my car.Thats when my life changed.Not just a few cuts i was dead two times and on life support 9 days aswell.In sort of bad way but something kepted me going.Now that was bad but the it killed me more than accident did to me.First day home after 19 days in hospital.The it grab my arm smacked my head of wall and left me lying there and walked away.But the its face went completely white after an hour when she came back and i was still alive.I said to the it a bus couldnt fucking kill me you no fucking chance it.Three months later she smashed big picture of elvis in living room and stabbed me in the throat with a piece of glass.It opened an air way through my throat.Everytime i breathed it the  oxygen replace my blood.Yes it was surgical emphysena its called.So every breath i took it compressed my lungs.The pain got so bad had to go to hospital.Very lucky i did not die.So again something kepted me going.

I got away from the it in the end up and she never killed but killed me more than the accident did.

With car accident and her nearly killing me.I came back home to rebuild my life.It taken some doing but what was holding back in my life no one could understand.Not even myself could.I was living my past in the future.

Everything i did each day was the past in the future.I tried to change and forget the past but it was so heavy on my shoulders it would not let me go forward in my life.The past was the future aaahhhhh. Until one day about 5 years ago i was walking Jerry lee and i got a feeling through my body nothing like i had ever before.It was the big weight lifted of my shoulders and my past was closed off.

As walking and back home i felt alive again with the past closed off.Even friends here noticed the difference in me.I felt like i had a new life again.The past what was holding me back was no more there.

It was such a relief to myself i could not belive it.As time went on and starting to see my future clearer with my past not holding me back.Rebuilding my life  from scratch with the big help from mum and dad and my daughter and Jerry Lee.Things did look better for me for which i was very grateful and iam stepping forward in my life not backwards anymore.

For so long me living my past in the future was just killing me slowly but since that day walking with Jerry Lee the feeling in my bones changed for the better.Now my past is closed off as its not the future.

Yes theses days things still hard to do but with having positive vibes back in it does help me.

So i got through it just and i take day by day and enjoy the best i can as we only live once well in my case a few times.My future is my future and i will make it the best i can.

                         Adrian 

Friday 6th April

This last week been sort of different for me but for the better.As things going to plan for me infact even better.Now this last few days been no any blips had happen to me.Feels great none at all.So no stress our pulling my hair out at all this last few days.Been a long time since i had the good feeling positive vibes back in me.Things just getting better for me nowadays.
Now the end of the week for me things going ok .The weekend is here.
                       Cat

End of lazy sunday day.

This weekend been sort of ok but again a few blips.But me with full of  positive vibes those blips are nothing to me.With my team Liverpool getting beat again today did get me down but we have a long way to recover from the last few crap seasons.Just will take time to rebuild Liverpool to being a strong team again.
As its the 1st of April  today my life is now a step forward to a brighter future for myself.As my planned missions of my personal life from the last month are completed.Now my personal private life is taking a step forward.Thank god as been on my wits end the last few weeks over my personal missions to get completed.
God hell it feels so good
As i said before no one can try and derail me not when iam full of positive vibes in me.
This next few months i will be here and there in different countries when i land there.Now some looks on some faces i cant wait to see them.