Since monday morning the positive vibes are flowing out of me.Its now wednesday night and iam on form.One thing is got a wee bit up my nose i must have been to fucking soft in the past dont people who are close to me relise iam fucking real.Iam not an easy touch to use me now like they done to me in the past.
Yes the old Adrian is back and hell it feels good.Now iam going forward in my life and no fucking it or its will fucking stop me now.
You see i have so much anger in me what it and its done to me in the past but hold on its the past and not the future.Iam better than the it and its but as we say what goes around comes around and the it+its will know when it hits them.
Tonight added pics to here on my blog aswell and i will write a bit more aswell in the future on here.One thing is that iam real not just a internet geek.i do have my real life away from the internet.That means iam real and you just have to accept it iam real.If you just think just an internet geek then you are wrong.There is the door walk away .
Thats means Adrian here got his weight lifted of his shoulders last weekend.That only happened when Jasmine wanted to test me to see if iam worth while to be with! She didnt relise she lifted the weight of my shoulders whats been holding me back for years.I did not run of and shag another woman just like that as Jasmine thought testing me to the limit i would do that to her.Well blow me to god i did not.So nearly 3 months with Jasmine and as we both had the bad relationships in our past.So Jasmine tested me and did not know it helped me in a big way of lifting that weight of my shoulders.As i never stepped over the line to break the trust between me and Jasmine.Trust is very valuable in a relationship.
Monday morning when i woke up i knew then. The trust i had in women what was burnt out of me from the past relationships was gone out of my life. I felt really alive again no weight on my shoulders.You see what i wrote on monday i mean it.What i want i will make it happen no more excuses or if this or if that.
Long time since i felt like this in myself and hell it feels good Adrian has been released and out to play yessssss
Ok what i done in the past i cant change it but the future is the future and not the past.My past in relationships is closed off now and iam free of that weight of my shoulders.
Jasmine now you will see the real me as no weight on my shoulders holding me back from our next step with our relationship my trust is with you now Jasmine.
To myself i have a lot to do to get me rock and rolling again but the buzz is back in me now.So its all forward from now on.Positive vibes are bouncing in me with no site of negative vibes.I feel so relived now that weight of my shoulders feels like iam alive again.
A lot out there will see the difference in me either you like it or not your choice..
First time in my life while swimming on tuesday i got cramp in my left shin muscle on the 59 length.By fucking hell it hurt.It went from left shin muscle up to thigh.I got out and gentle exercise to relise the pain from the cramp.Got back in the pool and i pushed myself to get to 66 lengths.Since i been back home could only do gentle exercises as i dont want to rupture leg muscle more.Its still not 100% right but in morning will do my hour exercise and hope it bit of luck it will be ok.Then i will go for a swim and not get cramp this time.
Well wednesday night getting on time for brew and to chill out the rest of the night for me.
Adrian
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