Since the weight has been lifted of my shoulders last weekend.Started on monday feeling alive again.Each day this last week been different for me with nothing holding me back after weight lifted of my shoulders.
Thursday what happened all day with me and Jasmine.Proved to me that i step forward with my head held up high.As no past weighted down on me anymore.My bone feelings are working right aswell as they woke me up early thursday about 3.30am telling me that Jasmine who is so close to me needed me there and then.From then on we talked and talked nearly all day to each other.At thursday night here we where both smiling in each others hearts.So the next step forward for me and Jasmine is going perfect at moment.
This weekend is nearly here and after what happened to me last weekend i do not want to repeat this weekend.
But since the weight lifted of my shoulders iam full of positive vibes and i will handle anything easier now.
Also this last week tuesday swimming just done 58 lengths turned to start number 59 and that is when cramp set in on my left leg .Hell it was serious pain after a bit of gentle exercise i did manage to do 66 lengths.But it was not just cramp as when home the cramp triggered my left shin leg muscle to ripped.First ever time in my life to ever suffer cramp and ripped muscle at the same time.
With me i was learned when growing up to ignore physical pain.So the pain after cramp and muscle ripping i ignored the pain.So speed walking what i do was put on hold the last two days but still used my toys and also went swimming yesterday done 66 lengths but not use my left leg much as i have to careful not to cause anymore damage to the muscle.So my arms did more work when swimming.
Today up this morning used my toys and bike but no speed walk.But this morning was chopping wood and making my legs work better while swinging axe.So this afternoon i did use my toys and weights on ankles for speed walk.Iam ok my leg is nearly perfect and no sign of tearing muscle again.So should get my routine back up and running in the morning when i get up.
Learned to ignore physical pain in my life worked this last thank god.
Just thinking there dont know why but hell i fancy some garlic bread now.So will make it with my dinner with garlic dripping of bread when i eat it with my dinner.mmuuwwwaahhhh
Have a good weekend all of you out there.TTFN
Cat
Friday, 24 February 2012
Wednesday, 22 February 2012
Midweek update for me..
Since monday morning the positive vibes are flowing out of me.Its now wednesday night and iam on form.One thing is got a wee bit up my nose i must have been to fucking soft in the past dont people who are close to me relise iam fucking real.Iam not an easy touch to use me now like they done to me in the past.
Yes the old Adrian is back and hell it feels good.Now iam going forward in my life and no fucking it or its will fucking stop me now.
You see i have so much anger in me what it and its done to me in the past but hold on its the past and not the future.Iam better than the it and its but as we say what goes around comes around and the it+its will know when it hits them.
Tonight added pics to here on my blog aswell and i will write a bit more aswell in the future on here.One thing is that iam real not just a internet geek.i do have my real life away from the internet.That means iam real and you just have to accept it iam real.If you just think just an internet geek then you are wrong.There is the door walk away .
Thats means Adrian here got his weight lifted of his shoulders last weekend.That only happened when Jasmine wanted to test me to see if iam worth while to be with! She didnt relise she lifted the weight of my shoulders whats been holding me back for years.I did not run of and shag another woman just like that as Jasmine thought testing me to the limit i would do that to her.Well blow me to god i did not.So nearly 3 months with Jasmine and as we both had the bad relationships in our past.So Jasmine tested me and did not know it helped me in a big way of lifting that weight of my shoulders.As i never stepped over the line to break the trust between me and Jasmine.Trust is very valuable in a relationship.
Monday morning when i woke up i knew then. The trust i had in women what was burnt out of me from the past relationships was gone out of my life. I felt really alive again no weight on my shoulders.You see what i wrote on monday i mean it.What i want i will make it happen no more excuses or if this or if that.
Long time since i felt like this in myself and hell it feels good Adrian has been released and out to play yessssss
Ok what i done in the past i cant change it but the future is the future and not the past.My past in relationships is closed off now and iam free of that weight of my shoulders.
Jasmine now you will see the real me as no weight on my shoulders holding me back from our next step with our relationship my trust is with you now Jasmine.
To myself i have a lot to do to get me rock and rolling again but the buzz is back in me now.So its all forward from now on.Positive vibes are bouncing in me with no site of negative vibes.I feel so relived now that weight of my shoulders feels like iam alive again.
A lot out there will see the difference in me either you like it or not your choice..
First time in my life while swimming on tuesday i got cramp in my left shin muscle on the 59 length.By fucking hell it hurt.It went from left shin muscle up to thigh.I got out and gentle exercise to relise the pain from the cramp.Got back in the pool and i pushed myself to get to 66 lengths.Since i been back home could only do gentle exercises as i dont want to rupture leg muscle more.Its still not 100% right but in morning will do my hour exercise and hope it bit of luck it will be ok.Then i will go for a swim and not get cramp this time.
Well wednesday night getting on time for brew and to chill out the rest of the night for me.
Adrian
Yes the old Adrian is back and hell it feels good.Now iam going forward in my life and no fucking it or its will fucking stop me now.
You see i have so much anger in me what it and its done to me in the past but hold on its the past and not the future.Iam better than the it and its but as we say what goes around comes around and the it+its will know when it hits them.
Tonight added pics to here on my blog aswell and i will write a bit more aswell in the future on here.One thing is that iam real not just a internet geek.i do have my real life away from the internet.That means iam real and you just have to accept it iam real.If you just think just an internet geek then you are wrong.There is the door walk away .
Thats means Adrian here got his weight lifted of his shoulders last weekend.That only happened when Jasmine wanted to test me to see if iam worth while to be with! She didnt relise she lifted the weight of my shoulders whats been holding me back for years.I did not run of and shag another woman just like that as Jasmine thought testing me to the limit i would do that to her.Well blow me to god i did not.So nearly 3 months with Jasmine and as we both had the bad relationships in our past.So Jasmine tested me and did not know it helped me in a big way of lifting that weight of my shoulders.As i never stepped over the line to break the trust between me and Jasmine.Trust is very valuable in a relationship.
Monday morning when i woke up i knew then. The trust i had in women what was burnt out of me from the past relationships was gone out of my life. I felt really alive again no weight on my shoulders.You see what i wrote on monday i mean it.What i want i will make it happen no more excuses or if this or if that.
Long time since i felt like this in myself and hell it feels good Adrian has been released and out to play yessssss
Ok what i done in the past i cant change it but the future is the future and not the past.My past in relationships is closed off now and iam free of that weight of my shoulders.
Jasmine now you will see the real me as no weight on my shoulders holding me back from our next step with our relationship my trust is with you now Jasmine.
To myself i have a lot to do to get me rock and rolling again but the buzz is back in me now.So its all forward from now on.Positive vibes are bouncing in me with no site of negative vibes.I feel so relived now that weight of my shoulders feels like iam alive again.
A lot out there will see the difference in me either you like it or not your choice..
First time in my life while swimming on tuesday i got cramp in my left shin muscle on the 59 length.By fucking hell it hurt.It went from left shin muscle up to thigh.I got out and gentle exercise to relise the pain from the cramp.Got back in the pool and i pushed myself to get to 66 lengths.Since i been back home could only do gentle exercises as i dont want to rupture leg muscle more.Its still not 100% right but in morning will do my hour exercise and hope it bit of luck it will be ok.Then i will go for a swim and not get cramp this time.
Well wednesday night getting on time for brew and to chill out the rest of the night for me.
Adrian
Monday, 20 February 2012
Weight lifted of at long last
Monday morning and after a weekend with my inner self.I woke up this morning with my slate cleaned that means that the weight on my shoulders is now lifted off.It taken a long time in my personal life for that to be lifted of my shoulders.Its been holding back a long time.Now with it gone from me i can let my positive vibes work and take the next step in my life.That means no more ' if ' situations and be put on hold and have to wait.For so long in my past personal life it held me back all the time.Now with that gone from me.I will use my positive vibes in me now to make things happen what i really want for real.
I only live once and must enjoy it the best i can and from now on i will seeing that big weight is lifted of my shoulders.
Adrian
I only live once and must enjoy it the best i can and from now on i will seeing that big weight is lifted of my shoulders.
Adrian
Sunday, 19 February 2012
End of Cats Lazy Sunday Chill Out Day
This weekend been sort of different for me.With starting of with my head in bits on saturday morning after friday night.No alcohol involved.But as saturday morning started even the rain stopped my speed walk twice.The day not going very well at all.It was my past relationships what was causing the problem.Making me think Jasmine would do the same to me.What they done to me.But light at the end of the tunnel and a great talk with Jasmine for hours on saturday night sort my head out what was in bits and pieces on saturday morning.
Sunday morning i woke up with a real good sleep and the sun was out aswell.Over at my dads and went to the shop aswell.Made a phone call to Jasmine and thanked her for last night with the powerful talking with me and that i do love you Jasmine.As the day went on we talked and even tonight as my trust is in Jasmine 100% just making me have more positive vibes in me.
Now sunday night i will have now a hot radox salts bath then hit my bed.So in the morning i will wake up with positive vibes in me.
Cat
Saturday, 18 February 2012
Its Saturday means weekend is here
This last week things sort of changed for me in all ways.Start of this last week my feelings in my bones wasnt right but where right.Monday night my bone feeling was sorted out to the good feeling in my bones.When its just a bad feeling in my bones i can handle it but when good and bad feeling in my bones take some doing to get it sorted out.It was all down to what happened last weekend and spilled into monday.Tuesday morning it was all ok thankgod for that.
Tuesday as i do swim and for the second week in a row i swim 66 lengths tuesday and thursday.It felt good and after thursday swim my body is adjusting to doing 66 lengths for a while now.
As the week went on things went sort of well for me.
There was a part of my personal side of me improved for the better.My past is closing off as its not the future.But yesterday and today past relationships was biting me.You see being used in the past and my trust in women was burnt out of me.December 2011 things changed for me in relationship status.This last few days and this morning the past negative relationship vibes.Made me scared but Jasmine help me kick those negative vibes in to touch.As she was just herself and never did anything to hurt me at all.It was all my past relationships what made me think she would.Sitting here writing this makes me see that Jasmine i can trust as she is my future with me not from the past.
So the situation is with me and Jasmine is when we are both ready to take the next step in the relationship.Meaning that very soon there or here or where ever it will be that we will be together for real life.
So the weekend is here and never guess what weather is not good today and another weekend for me with no alcohol.Twice today going out on my speed walk but couldnt as rain is belting down.So plan B for exercise this afternoon.
Tomorrow is my sunday lazy day to chill out all day
Tuesday as i do swim and for the second week in a row i swim 66 lengths tuesday and thursday.It felt good and after thursday swim my body is adjusting to doing 66 lengths for a while now.
As the week went on things went sort of well for me.
There was a part of my personal side of me improved for the better.My past is closing off as its not the future.But yesterday and today past relationships was biting me.You see being used in the past and my trust in women was burnt out of me.December 2011 things changed for me in relationship status.This last few days and this morning the past negative relationship vibes.Made me scared but Jasmine help me kick those negative vibes in to touch.As she was just herself and never did anything to hurt me at all.It was all my past relationships what made me think she would.Sitting here writing this makes me see that Jasmine i can trust as she is my future with me not from the past.
So the situation is with me and Jasmine is when we are both ready to take the next step in the relationship.Meaning that very soon there or here or where ever it will be that we will be together for real life.
So the weekend is here and never guess what weather is not good today and another weekend for me with no alcohol.Twice today going out on my speed walk but couldnt as rain is belting down.So plan B for exercise this afternoon.
Tomorrow is my sunday lazy day to chill out all day
Sunday, 12 February 2012
Cats weekend to close
This weekend been going ok apart my team Liverpool getting beat aaahhhhhhh.
Today being my lazy sunday chill out day started of well.As i woke up about 8.26am on my lazy day had breakfast then went to see my dad and he was ok aswell.The rest of today went better as listened to music but since i did something last week for the first time in my life i had the buzz in me.
My lazy day was about to change :-)
I was so full of energy i had to burn it of me but hold on its my lazy sunday chill out day !
Being here alone full of energy all day i need to do something to stop me getting bored alone !
So after a bit thought i will use my toys even though i dont on a sunday.So tunes went on and i started to use my toys.It took a while before i started to sweat .But then i got going and my toys where working in full throttle.
The sweat came of me i did not do my speed walk.So i carried on using my toys and sweated more yessssss
Infact i did push myself more using my toys feels even better.
After 3 times using my toys i burned some energy of me to stop me getting bored alone here at home.
Infact since i hit 66 lengths swimming last week i got the buzz back in me and feels really good.I want more !!
So my weekend went very well for me and iam ready for this next week.
Cat
Today being my lazy sunday chill out day started of well.As i woke up about 8.26am on my lazy day had breakfast then went to see my dad and he was ok aswell.The rest of today went better as listened to music but since i did something last week for the first time in my life i had the buzz in me.
My lazy day was about to change :-)
I was so full of energy i had to burn it of me but hold on its my lazy sunday chill out day !
Being here alone full of energy all day i need to do something to stop me getting bored alone !
So after a bit thought i will use my toys even though i dont on a sunday.So tunes went on and i started to use my toys.It took a while before i started to sweat .But then i got going and my toys where working in full throttle.
The sweat came of me i did not do my speed walk.So i carried on using my toys and sweated more yessssss
Infact i did push myself more using my toys feels even better.
After 3 times using my toys i burned some energy of me to stop me getting bored alone here at home.
Infact since i hit 66 lengths swimming last week i got the buzz back in me and feels really good.I want more !!
So my weekend went very well for me and iam ready for this next week.
Cat
Friday, 10 February 2012
End of a good week for me
This last week i done something what i never done before in my life.Yes since i was fat and lazy but two years ago i started to do a wee bit exercises.After a year doing them at home went swimming.Thought i was fit but nearly killed me swimming 3 lengths.So about an year ago i added swimming twice a week into my 6 days of exercises.When not working i do my exercise for an hour twice a day and swim twice a week aswell.I set myself to swim 20 lengths any more bonus as long as i did 20 lengths.The last 16 times visits to swimming pool i did my 20 lengths but i carried on until i hit 50 lengths.Tuesday i was there my arms felt heavy and thought get my 20 lengths done and see how it goes.
Well i carried on and for the first time in my life i swim 64 lengths (1mile) I could not belive it but i did it hell i was so proud.Then on thursday back to swim again did my 20 could feel it in my arms but i kepted going and got 66 lengths before i was out breath and my muscles give in.Well i was so proud of myself. But best stick to doing around 60 lengths in swimming until i build my muscles stronger to do any more.
Today being friday did my hour exercise this morning went very well.But could feel it in muscles but this afternoon when i did my exercise when i finished of on my bike i did for the first time 6 miles in 10mins 2secs
What a week for me trying to keep fit and keep motivated in my life.
My team Liverpool hit a problem we just cannae score any bloody goals when we really need them.0-0 against Spurs on monday night at Anfield.Not good enough ahhhh.We have to play Man Utd at Old Trafford tomorrow 12.45pm kick off.Lets see if we can score at there ground.Feeling in my bones it will be a hard game but just might sneak the winning goal.
So this last week done something for the first time in my life and i feel so proud of myself :-)
Cat
Well i carried on and for the first time in my life i swim 64 lengths (1mile) I could not belive it but i did it hell i was so proud.Then on thursday back to swim again did my 20 could feel it in my arms but i kepted going and got 66 lengths before i was out breath and my muscles give in.Well i was so proud of myself. But best stick to doing around 60 lengths in swimming until i build my muscles stronger to do any more.
Today being friday did my hour exercise this morning went very well.But could feel it in muscles but this afternoon when i did my exercise when i finished of on my bike i did for the first time 6 miles in 10mins 2secs
What a week for me trying to keep fit and keep motivated in my life.
My team Liverpool hit a problem we just cannae score any bloody goals when we really need them.0-0 against Spurs on monday night at Anfield.Not good enough ahhhh.We have to play Man Utd at Old Trafford tomorrow 12.45pm kick off.Lets see if we can score at there ground.Feeling in my bones it will be a hard game but just might sneak the winning goal.
So this last week done something for the first time in my life and i feel so proud of myself :-)
Cat
Tuesday, 7 February 2012
First Time Swim 64 Lengths
Yes its tuesday and with my team Liverpool only drawing last night but played ok.But we have to start to score goals cause that is what is missing at moment with Liverpool Fc.
This morning up doing my hour exercise went well.Over and seen my dad he was ok and wrote down what shopping we needed.Of to Carlisle at 9am first of all i do swim for an hour but for the first time in my life i did swim 64 lengths hell it felt good.The last 17 times swimming did swim 50 lengths and today i did the 50 but kepted going and reached 64 lengths.When i got home i did my hour exercise aswell and sitting here writing this while my dinner is cooking.Iam feeling proud of myself for all my exercise today and of course 64 lengths i swam for the first time in my life.feels real good
Cat
This morning up doing my hour exercise went well.Over and seen my dad he was ok and wrote down what shopping we needed.Of to Carlisle at 9am first of all i do swim for an hour but for the first time in my life i did swim 64 lengths hell it felt good.The last 17 times swimming did swim 50 lengths and today i did the 50 but kepted going and reached 64 lengths.When i got home i did my hour exercise aswell and sitting here writing this while my dinner is cooking.Iam feeling proud of myself for all my exercise today and of course 64 lengths i swam for the first time in my life.feels real good
Cat
Monday, 6 February 2012
Weekend over Week started again
Over the weekend it very well for me.Infact made me happier with myself.OMG shock or what !!!
Another no drink at all hehe iam being good but hell just was not in the mood to drink at all at moment.Saturday morning did my hour exercise and di a a bit more aswell.Felt really good but as irt got about 11am here it started to snow and within an hour over an inch had come down.It carried on but when want to do my speed walk in my hour exercise i couldnt as snowed was about two inch and blow me to god it started to bloody rain.So did more exercise here at home using my toys.Made my muscles sweat more.The bonus was the awesome Jasmine was watching me and keeping me going.So i pushed myself harder for her. ;-)
Saturday night after back from dads just to chill out here with tunes on and to really think in my own space.
Sunday well it was my lazy chill out day and it went very well.On my youtube to sort my play lists out and it was all eighties music and for over 3 hours listened to a lot of tunes and sorted my play list out.As the day went on me chilling out.Things got heated up when Jasmine got a hold of me in certain ways and OMG sweat we did.My lazy sunday was going perfect and last night quick visit to see my dad and when i came home Jasmine was waiting with a real smile just for me and when she opened her eyes later she hug and kissed me.
So my weekend closed off the best it could for me.
Today being monday my team Liverpool play against Spurs tonight so i will be glued to tv.To watch the live game from Anfield.Sneaky feeling in my bones think we will just beat them tonight.
Cat
Another no drink at all hehe iam being good but hell just was not in the mood to drink at all at moment.Saturday morning did my hour exercise and di a a bit more aswell.Felt really good but as irt got about 11am here it started to snow and within an hour over an inch had come down.It carried on but when want to do my speed walk in my hour exercise i couldnt as snowed was about two inch and blow me to god it started to bloody rain.So did more exercise here at home using my toys.Made my muscles sweat more.The bonus was the awesome Jasmine was watching me and keeping me going.So i pushed myself harder for her. ;-)
Saturday night after back from dads just to chill out here with tunes on and to really think in my own space.
Sunday well it was my lazy chill out day and it went very well.On my youtube to sort my play lists out and it was all eighties music and for over 3 hours listened to a lot of tunes and sorted my play list out.As the day went on me chilling out.Things got heated up when Jasmine got a hold of me in certain ways and OMG sweat we did.My lazy sunday was going perfect and last night quick visit to see my dad and when i came home Jasmine was waiting with a real smile just for me and when she opened her eyes later she hug and kissed me.
So my weekend closed off the best it could for me.
Today being monday my team Liverpool play against Spurs tonight so i will be glued to tv.To watch the live game from Anfield.Sneaky feeling in my bones think we will just beat them tonight.
Cat
Saturday, 4 February 2012
Mini update
Its saturday morning here in the last hour cat just relised to himself what is real or not real to himself :-)
Friday, 3 February 2012
Cats week finishing with a smile ;-)
This last week on tuesday it was my dads birthday he is now 87.Spent the day with him as much as i can.He is doing great and still keeps on going.Good on you dad.
Also this last week things going good in all departments of mine.Wednesday smile nearly breaking my face and tonight i still have a smile on my face.Great feeling to have positive vibes rolling out of me in all ways no wonder iam smiling.Thankyou Jasmine.
My team Liverpool winning last saturday went to wolves through the week and beat them 3-0 Things looking a bit better now at Anfield but we just have to keep going in this form and it will get better for Liverpool each game.
My leg muscle is fully recovered and since monday did my normal exercise each day.Each hour i did even more just wanted to.Swimming twice this week felt so good aswell.Now with leg being ok iam happy that i can push myself a bit more hehehehe.
Its friday night and the last few hours for me just couldnt be any better to close my week off. mmuuwwahhh Jasmine xx
Also this last week things going good in all departments of mine.Wednesday smile nearly breaking my face and tonight i still have a smile on my face.Great feeling to have positive vibes rolling out of me in all ways no wonder iam smiling.Thankyou Jasmine.
My team Liverpool winning last saturday went to wolves through the week and beat them 3-0 Things looking a bit better now at Anfield but we just have to keep going in this form and it will get better for Liverpool each game.
My leg muscle is fully recovered and since monday did my normal exercise each day.Each hour i did even more just wanted to.Swimming twice this week felt so good aswell.Now with leg being ok iam happy that i can push myself a bit more hehehehe.
Its friday night and the last few hours for me just couldnt be any better to close my week off. mmuuwwahhh Jasmine xx
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